Hi! I’m Edmond Lau.

I teach people about the power of intimacy and human connection to create true freedom in their lives.

In my writing, you’ll find deeply personal stories and a masterclass on navigating human emotions and intimate partnerships.

And if you enjoy what you read, my wife and I create in-person and online experiences where we guide people on powerful journeys of personal transformation. We write together on

sharing emotional and relational tools to create deeper love, connection, and aliveness in intimate relationships.

Join 15,000+ amazing humans all learning to navigate our core emotions and intimate partnerships.

“I hope more people embrace Edmond's philosophy and techniques.”
— Bret Taylor, Co-CEO of Salesforce

Where I’m Coming From

In a previous life, I was a very successful Silicon Valley engineer.

I was the twelfth hire at an early stage startup that got acquired by Salesforce. I built a successful online brand and audience around The Effective Engineer, self-published a book that's generated over $500k in revenue, and founded a tech leadership company that produced workshops so impactful that teams would pay $60k for 3-day experiences.

But I decided to give that life up.

I realized that the deepest source of joy and richness in my life came from creating ever-deepening intimacy in my most important relationships — not from being more effective at getting things done.

It's when I deeply connected with myself and with those around me, that I found a freedom that I’d always wanted — the freedom to be me.

If you want to know the longer story of how an engineer chose to focus his life’s work on intimacy and relationships, you can read Choose Aliveness and I’m Quitting Engineering and Taking My Next Big Leap.

Intimate Reflections on the Human Experience
Choose Aliveness and Create the Life You Truly Desire
“I'm the luckiest,” I say. I gaze into my fiancé's blue starburst eyes in the cozy nook of our San Francisco apartment. “We’re the luckiest,” she says back with a smile. The exchange of those words during our morning eye gazing ritual never seems to get old. We believe the words every time we say them…
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My Mission

And so now, I'm on a mission to take all the systems thinking, engineering brainpower, and high-leverage frameworks that I've cultivated to tackle problems that are at the heart of what it means to be human.

It turns out that our beliefs — about money, success, attractiveness, relationships, and even love — are actually systems that can be reprogrammed and re-engineered like any other.

It turns out that our behavioral patterns in relationships can be clearly modeled and our triggers resolved, if only we apply the right set of emotional resolution tools to our minds and our bodies.

It turns out that trust and intimacy in relationships — with partners, friends, family, and co-workers — can be created intentionally in moments not in years.

If you join me, we'll take a systems-oriented lens toward our life and relationships, so that we can create the life experiences we've always dreamed of but didn't think were possible.

That’s what I’m here to share with the world.

Intimate stories. Powerful mindsets. Life-changing tools.

An Adventurer at Heart

My quest to build relationships and feel at home anywhere I am in the world has brought me to 45 countries — all the way from climbing Kilimanjaro in Tanzania to tantra festivals in Sweden to motorbiking across northern Vietnam.

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Intimate stories to help people re-connect with the burning fire of aliveness in their souls and their deeper WHY for being here.


I teach people powerful tools for personal transformation and human connection — so they can radically expand the possibilities in their lives. In a former life, I was a Silicon Valley engineer and the author of The Effective Engineer.